I have not broken any of my new year resolutions yet, of course the new year has yet to start, so I am safe for a few more days. My problem does not seem to be the recognition of what needs to change in my daily habits, but the motivation to actually continue to change them. Perhaps my problem is not the ultimate goal but the zealous steps I determine to reach it. As an example, I want to lose weight so I set a ridiculous schedule for exercise and start some fad diet that promises miracles. Starving myself for a week while at the same time getting up at an hour even God is not awake (just kidding) and sweating to the oldies is never going to work. About one week in, I smash the alarm clock and move the treadmill to the garage where it belongs. I will not continue such an unworkable schedule, so a worthy goal goes by the wayside.
This year instead I have found a fun way to exercise by playing basketball with a group of men at a high school gym a couple of days a week. Adding a bike ride on Saturday will round out some good cardio and is a schedule I will enjoy. Some sensible diet changes that do not promise to drop ten pounds a week but will result in incremental weight loss will also be much easier to do. I believe the goal is within reach.
A much more important goal is often times sabotaged by the same micromanaging and over zealousness. I want to grow spiritually this year and be closer to the Lord than I ever have. Towards this goal I have in the past set a rigorous early morning Bible reading and prayer time. I have often committed to reading great amounts of scripture each day and spending time with a unwieldy list of names (some I don't even know) to pray for. When I miss a day, as it is inevitable that I do, I listen to the great accuser of the brethren and agree that I am worthless as a "good" Christian and will never be able to be consistent so I might as well give up.
Again, I am missing the goal because of unreasonable details. If I want to get up at 5 or 6 am to have time to spend with the Lord I have to give up my habit of staying up till midnight to watch the news. It would be better for me to read a little less scripture and meditate on what it means than to start some Bible marathon and have no idea what I have just read. I can break up my prayer list and pray heartfelt prayers for people's detailed needs without going to sleep in the middle of it. And, when I miss a day, yes it happens no matter how hard I try, I do not have to give in to the guilt that immobilizes me for the next day. Instead, I just start where I left off and keep going.
Reaching the goal is the issue not how fast the process is. So many worthwhile endeavors are thwarted near the starting line because we do not feel we are fast enough out of the blocks. Paul says of his life in 2 Timothy, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have remained faithful, therefore the crown of righteousness is laid up for me." My prayer for you and I is that we will see the goal that God has for us and we will resolutely keep moving toward it. It will be worth it all someday when God says, "well done my good and faithful servant."
